


Prophet Margin II

by Daegaer



Series: Prophet Margin [2]
Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angels, Collection: Purimgifts Extras, Demons, Gen, Nevi'im | Prophets (Tanakh), Prophets, Treat, elijah - Freeform, iron age Israel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-06
Updated: 2020-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:16:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23039950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daegaer/pseuds/Daegaer
Summary: Aziraphale and Crowley deal with an Israelite prophet.
Series: Prophet Margin [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1674703
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21
Collections: Purimgifts 2020





	Prophet Margin II

**Author's Note:**

  * For [opalmatrix](https://archiveofourown.org/users/opalmatrix/gifts).



"You pushed the king of Israel out of his bedroom window?"

"I didn't mean to," Crowley said urgently. "I forgot that human spines don’t bend that way, that's all. You can fix him, though, right?"

Aziraphale ground the heels of his hands into his eyes. Crowley could be so, so _impulsive_.

"I could," he said patiently. " _You_ could have, right after the fall –"

"Please don't phrase it like that."

"- when he and everyone else was still in shock. Now _everyone_ knows he's gravely ill and paralysed. It'll be an obvious miracle if he blasted well takes up his bed and walks."

"Why would he take up his bed? He has people for that sort of thing."

"I _mean_ ," Aziraphale said through gritted teeth, "that as his scribe I can't just suddenly heal him. We need someone plausible to take the credit."

"No problem," Crowley said. "I'll get right on that."

Within the hour King Ahaziah had sent an embassy to Ekron to humbly ask for an oracle of healing from Baalzebub. Aziraphale drank his way to the bottom of a large jar of wine, and went to discuss matters with Crowley.

"That's not exactly what I meant," he said with the extreme preciseness of the very annoyed and very drunk.

"Relax," Crowley said, "they didn't get to Ekron. Your guy Elijah sent them back. Since then every patrol sent to arrest him has been annihilated by fire from heaven. You've got to stop giving military secrets to the humans, angel."

"Oh, blast," Aziraphale said, spreading his wings.

"Yeah, exactly."

Aziraphale flew off and landed on a hill-top beside Elijah as a rather worried troop of soldiers gathered beneath.

"Hello-and-please-don't-kill-us-my-lord!" the captain called up politely.

"Give me one reason not to!"

"Look, those access codes were for emergency use only," Aziraphale said. "You can't call in fire from heaven every time you're miffed, Elijah." He patted the somewhat fragrant prophet's shoulder gingerly. "Come to Samaria. You don't have to be afraid of that soldier fellow. You could heal the king in the name of the Lord!"

"Fair enough," Elijah said, a light in his eyes, and strode down the hill, Aziraphale by his side. 

When they reached Samaria he immediately denounced Ahaziah as a terrible pagan who would die for asking other gods for help, anointed his brother Jehoram as the new king, and strolled out of the palace again with the air of a job well done. 

Aziraphale got straight back into another jar of wine, this one brought direct from the royal cellars at Ekron as Crowley's apology.  


Ahaziah falling from his upper room.

[source](https://picryl.com/media/ahaziah-from-bl-royal-19-d-iii-f-162-f3631d)


End file.
